Corporate Ninja Pillows

'We appreciate your back of the envelope calculation, Mike. Now put a stamp on the front and send it to somebody who cares.'

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

'You never know when she's going to creep up on you.'

'You're the type of young guy we're looking for - aggressive, willing to take chances, able to bounce back...how'd you like to go into banking?'

"It's a stealth suit. So I can stay off the boss's radar."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

Good Luck!

'In the corporate world, I'm a survivor.'

"We need a better piling system."

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'Gimme all your cache!'

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"Don't let it come to a voice vote. We always get screwed."

'Do you have an appointment?'

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

Computer Virus

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

I don't consider it "multitasking" when you have to do the same task over and over to get it right!

Accountancy

Workaholic's Toilet

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

Billy strip: bed pan.

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'

Desk trays: In House and Outsource.