Job Market Ninja Pillows

Bob took his job hunting very seriously.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

The world's most unemployable family

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

For sale

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."