Job Market Junkie Pillows

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

How are you at decision making?

'Yes, can I help you?'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Dolestart - A New Initiative

The world's most unemployable family

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"We don't have a grievance committee, but we have a grieving committee for fired employees."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."