Job Market Enthusiasts Pillows

'The good news is that I'm prepared to offer you a six figure annual salary. The bad news is that it includes the decimal.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

The Three Wise Queens

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Are you free at the moment?'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'I received matching offers.'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

"Tell us something we don't know."

'The Dow finally hit 10,000. Guess happy days are here again.'

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

"Why did you turn down the Easter bunny job?"

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'