Job Market Ninja Gifts

Bob took his job hunting very seriously.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The world's most unemployable family

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

For sale

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

Now hiring.

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."