Jet-setting Sportsman Gifts

Golfer going through customs

"Would you like some wings?"

Travelling

Cow Blue Arrows

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"Hell: The Airport"

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"I still thinking he's putting something unidentified on the ball."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Discus accidents.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"There it is again, that tapping..."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

Plane crash on football pitch.

Flight nap

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

'Want to buzz the airport?'

"There! Just like new!"

"Your pilot is still de-icing."

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"