Jet-setting Aficionado Gifts

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"Hell: The Airport"

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

Airshow.

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

Plane crash on football pitch.

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

Flight nap

'Man, this living out of a suitcase is getting old!'

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

Owl and the Pussycat in pea green Learjet

US Airforce.

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

'Want to buzz the airport?'

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

"Why yes, it is my last flight. How'd you guess?"

"Which way to departures?"

The Many Faces of Bev

"Our gold-plus members get live-streaming of economy class so you can see how cramped and irritable they are."

Golfer going through customs

"Milan, Rio, Sydney, Oslo - I never know when he's going to jet off next."

"I sometimes wonder if these kids really live in the catchment area"

'Not only has my luggage been to more places than I have, it's stayed longer in some places.'

Tell me about your travel extras please. Airport tax,security charge,fuel levy and customer nuisance surcharge.