Jet-setter Enthusiast Gifts

Fiscal Responsibility

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"Have you decided where to travel?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"Hell: The Airport"

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

Airshow.

Travel Agent - Building not finished

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

Flight nap

"Hi, scheduling? I might be a little late. I'm stuck in traffic."

'It's $15 to check a bag and $25 if you want it to arrive at your destination.'

'Man, this living out of a suitcase is getting old!'

Qantas London Sydney

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

Plane crash on football pitch.

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

"So where are you off to today Wanda?" "......ummmmm......."

'Want to buzz the airport?'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Ask Sadie. If you were to win $100 million in the Mega Lottery, do you think the money would change you? How would you spend it? - Billy, a long-time fan. *Actual reader letter. First, I'd do my part to cure world hunger, then give to needy children, then help pay downs some of the national debt, then … Wait, lemme reorder a bit. First I'd buy the Yankees, then world hunger, then needy children. No first the Yankees, then a private jet, then gum, then the needy whatchamacallits. Children. Turn

"Our gold-plus members get live-streaming of economy class so you can see how cramped and irritable they are."