Jet-set Junkie Gifts

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

Airlines

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"First class, or with children?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Fighter Jet Sneeze

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Travelling

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Private Jet

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

'He must be going economy!'

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

Two airplanes

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"These shades are GREAT-I dreamt I was in Tahiti!"

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

'Business or pleasure?'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

'Will that be coach?'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

"Hell: The Airport"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'