Jet-set Wanderers Gifts

"It was errible, another world, the noise, the crowds, the sense of despair. And that was just the airport."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"Hell: The Airport"

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

Travel Agent - Building not finished

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

Qantas London Sydney

Plane crash on football pitch.

"Hi, scheduling? I might be a little late. I'm stuck in traffic."

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

'It's $15 to check a bag and $25 if you want it to arrive at your destination.'

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

Excess Baggage

'Man, this living out of a suitcase is getting old!'

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

Flight nap

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

"So where are you off to today Wanda?" "......ummmmm......."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

'Want to buzz the airport?'

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

Ask Sadie. If you were to win $100 million in the Mega Lottery, do you think the money would change you? How would you spend it? - Billy, a long-time fan. *Actual reader letter. First, I'd do my part to cure world hunger, then give to needy children, then help pay downs some of the national debt, then … Wait, lemme reorder a bit. First I'd buy the Yankees, then world hunger, then needy children. No first the Yankees, then a private jet, then gum, then the needy whatchamacallits. Children. Turn

The Many Faces of Bev

'And the purpose of your visit?' - 'To find my luggage.'

"Which way to departures?"

"Our gold-plus members get live-streaming of economy class so you can see how cramped and irritable they are."

"Milan, Rio, Sydney, Oslo - I never know when he's going to jet off next."