Jet-setting Genius Gifts

Pack lightly

"Would you like some wings?"

Cow Blue Arrows

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"Have you decided where to travel?"

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

Plane crash on football pitch.

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"There! Just like new!"

"Your pilot is still de-icing."

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

Left Luggage/Right Luggage

"Which way to departures?"

"Why yes, it is my last flight. How'd you guess?"

"I drink coffee for your safety."