Jest Seeker Gifts

Angry Bowling pins about to get back at a Tenpin Bowling ball.

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Muscles

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

The Three Wise Queens

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"I didn't spark joy."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

I love Lawyers

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Government a la Carte

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Now that's a win."

"We're exclusively delts."

Bench Press Accident

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Arizona In Black