Jedi In Training Gifts

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

A pilot is waiting for a Jedi to signal he can proceed on an airport runway.

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

Long-legged clown...

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'Here Coco. It's another prescription for laughter to be filled.'

Pranking Zombies

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"The butler did it!"

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

'These low energy light sabres take ages to warm up.'

"What do you want to be for Halloween when you grow up?"

Easy shaving

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

We're fine, although I think Bob may be going through a middle-ages crisis.

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

'This should come out just right.'

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

"I'd suggest cutting back on the practical joking and to ask people not to pull your finger so hard."

'Let me explain the secret of my jedi mind trick. . . win an election!'

Mouse levitates cheese off mouse trap.

'I didn't realize the locksmithing test would be this tough.'

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."