Jedi In Training Pillows

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Long-legged clown...

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

Pranking Zombies

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'Here Coco. It's another prescription for laughter to be filled.'

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"The butler did it!"

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

'I consider the Buddha to be a living document.'

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

Easy shaving

"What do you want to be for Halloween when you grow up?"

'This should come out just right.'

"I'd suggest cutting back on the practical joking and to ask people not to pull your finger so hard."

'I didn't realize the locksmithing test would be this tough.'

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

"Only when you master the Carry Forward Dedcution Defence will it be time for you to go."

'Let me explain the secret of my jedi mind trick. . . win an election!'

Mouse levitates cheese off mouse trap.

Runner Bean