Jailhouse Joker Gifts

I made my money the old fashioned way... I printed it.

"I froze all your pastry dough."

'They want to spend the weekend at daddy's.'

'This is your last chance, Murdock -- kill this cellmate and you're going to solitary!'

Chickens in prison.

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Sweet Jailbreak

'I'm being released on Blu-ray.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Relax, the game is over.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.