Jail Giggler Gifts

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Clown God

Get on with it!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"White Collar Prison"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Fancy a pint?

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

'Whoops!'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Finally some good news about out new vitamin pill!'

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

He's a terrible climber, but he's pretty good with tools.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

"Ow. That's the second time you've stepped on my foot."

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"