Jaded Careerist Gifts

"I once looked for meaning from my work. Now all I want is a decent cup of coffee."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

Born In Captivity.

Supermom.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

My brilliant career

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

Just a little heads up!

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

Working mother

'I may not have the skills or education for this position, but I do understand the cartoons in the The New Yorker.'

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

Born Cynical,,,,

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

"I think there's been a mistake... I applied for the caretakers job."

'So do I get the job or not?'

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

I was found guilty, eight of the jury were my ex-wives.

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'By golly, you've erected a whole new skill set.'

"It's hard to strike just the right balance. I didn't have enough fire in the belly for politics, but I seem to have too much for market research."

"But I want a career, a family, and a cracker"

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

Teddy Bears for all trades

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

"You think I can be an assistant manager?"

"Thanks for your meaningful application. When can you start?"

'I'll be conducting the final phase of your job interview I've heard a lot of good things about you!' ('Must maintain eye contact..')