Anti-career Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't believe in combining marriage and a career."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

The world's most unemployable family

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

You are more than your job description.

'You don't have much of a work history, do you, Mr. Laren?'

'So do I get the job or not?'

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'I hate my boss!...'

"I think there's been a mistake... I applied for the caretakers job."

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

"I love my job!"

'I see you hold degrees in eating, sleeping, AND mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the other college graduates who have applied.'

'You call that ambition?'

"Well, besides 'being famous for being famous'... what life goals do you have?"

"We're looking for someone with a diverse skill set accompanied by an advanced sense of passive resignation."

'I was so busy all my life delivering babies that I forgot to have some of my own...'

"Any other skills?"

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested