Career Enthusiasts Gifts

'But I'm not ready to retire!'

'Well, your resume looks good and - my gosh - I've never seen someone so passionate about this line of work.'

'I was so busy all my life delivering babies that I forgot to have some of my own...'

"Don't tell them you're a charity worker, they wouldn't touch you with a bargepole. . . tell them you're a banker or something."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"What's your occupation?"

The world's most unemployable family

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Resume Dumpers

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

Now hiring.

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'You're hired. Go figure.'