Careers Enthusiast Gifts

'So you're the boy who wants to be a health and safety officer.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

The world's most unemployable family

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I'm going to make you a stay-at-home mom."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'I received matching offers.'

"Exscuse me, but I think I'm in the wrong shaped hole."

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'