Vocational Enthusiast Gifts

Whatever became of auto repair and bookkeeping?

Trade School. Going to trade school after our real estate business collapsed was a good idea! These days it's all about "vocation, vocation, vocation"!

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

'These are job perks.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'I received matching offers.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."