Commercial Enthusiast Gifts

These people are having more fun in 60 seconds that we'll have in a lifetime.

'So why are you waiting until halftime? You only last through one commercial.'

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

After eighteen consecutive pharmaceutical commercials, Mitch learns that if he had a heart attack caused by a completely blocked artery, another heart attack could be lurking.

@Al-Jazeera won't run our Gelfilte Fish Commercials.'

'His passion for writing infomercials sustained him to the end.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

'Don't worry. I get a lot done during commercials.'

'Oh, I have a very important job. I'm in charge of synchronizing all of the television commercials.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"Yes! Our product placement in front of their product placement."

"If you turn off the sound, the commercials are more interesting than the programming."

"We've made the perfect TV commercial! You laugh, you cry, you buy!"

"I've been starring in the chocolate cream commercials for three years and now you suddenly want to fire me? Why??"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The MBA Draft

The Rubber Ball Company

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"I love fast break business success."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'