Commercial Enthusiast Gifts

These people are having more fun in 60 seconds that we'll have in a lifetime.

'So why are you waiting until halftime? You only last through one commercial.'

I was watching the Super Bowl, having a good time, when all of a sudden there was this insurance company commercial. It has some kid saying he'll never do this or never do that, because he died in an avoidable childhood accident. Can you believe that? They had the nerve to momentarily kill my super-bowl-buzz in order to potentially save kids' lives. That was awful. What were they thinking? I don't know. Some people just don't have their priorities straight.

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

After eighteen consecutive pharmaceutical commercials, Mitch learns that if he had a heart attack caused by a completely blocked artery, another heart attack could be lurking.

@Al-Jazeera won't run our Gelfilte Fish Commercials.'

'His passion for writing infomercials sustained him to the end.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

'Don't worry. I get a lot done during commercials.'

'Oh, I have a very important job. I'm in charge of synchronizing all of the television commercials.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"Yes! Our product placement in front of their product placement."

"If you turn off the sound, the commercials are more interesting than the programming."

"We've made the perfect TV commercial! You laugh, you cry, you buy!"

"I've been starring in the chocolate cream commercials for three years and now you suddenly want to fire me? Why??"

The MBA Draft

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Rubber Ball Company

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"I love fast break business success."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Gerald Ratner's return

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."