Career Skeptics Gifts

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

'Why do you have to have a career? -- I don't have a career!'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"According to your resume, you've done nothing of any real significance since inventing the wheel."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'And the recruiter from IBM - did you also tell him that at college you mostly sat on a rock by the sea, trying to find yourself?'

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

"I'm at the point where I find mixed signals reassuring."

"You could do a lot worse then be good at football... I know... some people have to settle for politics."

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Actually, with bachelors degrees in philosophy, we were lucky to get this job.

'I hate my boss!...'

Time Slavery.

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'The meaning of life?.. You want the next mountain along.'

'If you knew that economics was the 'dismal science,' why did you become an economist?'

'I see you hold degrees in eating, sleeping, AND mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the other college graduates who have applied.'

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"I don't know, Baldo. I like being an assistant manager and all...but I'm not sure this job is for me."

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

"I don't see your Zodiac sign anywhere on your resume."

It's an unpaid internship, but it's good experience.

"You don't even look good on paper."

"Do I want the job? Huh, I never thought about it like that."

'Oh, please no, ma'am! I couldn't stand the stress of success!'

"Why don't you become a boxer? Haha, just kidding!"

"Don't worry, it's just temporary...'til they find a way to fire you."