Irreverent Comedy Lover Gifts

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Who knew grass migrates?

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Eugene Ionesco

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

That's It

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"What did he say?"

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant."

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"This isn't a donor heart. It's a tuna on rye."