Irreverent Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"You can pray for my soul, but I reserve the right to roll my eyes and make a jerking-off motion while you do it."

'Don't worry -- that's just George Carlin.'

'Are you sure this is your first time?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

HELLth Food Sprouts

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

Crime in bookshop

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Men Working Things Out

Clone Factory

Pokemon Get Lost

Trump Tariffs

"Inactivists"

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

"Wow! Check out the moon."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'