Irreverent Comedy Lover T-Shirts

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Who knew grass migrates?

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Eugene Ionesco

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"What did he say?"

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

"Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant."

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

'You can come out now, Harold. Economists say a recession won't happen.'

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'