Irony Admirers Pillows

'Let me not answer your question this way...'

It's because you've given us the best years of your life, Potter - that's why we're letting you go.

"Do you ever wonder if there's life on Mars?"

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'

"This won best award show last year."

"Who'th idea wath it to thpell lithp with an eth?"

Feng Shui - I've found the perfect position for the book, darling.

'I don't wear an awareness ribbon in order to bring awareness to the proliferation of awareness ribbons.'

Wet T-shirt Nite

"Before we start I just need to jot down your bank and credit card details."

"I guess it all started the day my mom said..."

Aliens watch movie featuring human invaders.

Last chance.

'I'll bet there was more to it than fetching a pail of water, if you know what I mean.'

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

"Protection is a thing of the past, Eddie. You're looking at a supplemental-health-care provider."

The Grim Reaper

'The good news is that it's your birthday - Happy birthday!'

Inconvenience Store

"....At least we don't have to put quarters in this hot tub."

"Whom shall I say called?"

At the Pessimist Society's annual fete.

Captain Pointy No.16 - Superhero names

"How ironic."

"He's a billionaire worth several thousand dollars."

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

Cash Poor

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."