Irony Admirer Pillows

"Where? Where?"

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Runs completely on electricity - generated by a tiny coal-burning power plant.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'My advice is simple: Never spend more than you steal.'

"Great speech, general. Poor choice of uniform."

'It's called 'wild suburban sex orgies', but thats just for marketing...its actually about 17th century basket weaving'

"Perhaps sir should try our wolf department."

'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth - but not the oil and mineral rights.'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

'Scratch yourself a couple of times and call me in the morning.'

'George,remember your New Year's resolution.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Beware of the Dog

'It must have been a REALLY bad pun!'

Assertiveness class

'Sidney, what's happened to you? You've become obese!'

Vasectomy Clinic Waiting Room

"I warned you about apples didn't I ?"

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Warning! This sign has sharp edges.

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

Important balloons, $30.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

Federal Deaprtment of Catch 22.

'The good news is you're going to live, the bad news is you're allergic to cheese.'

Alway finish what you (start)

"'Breaking & Entering' - what about you?"

'I'm Bored'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

Life coach...life coach...