Ironically Professional Gifts

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

Joint Ventures!

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"So how long have you been working the business?"

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

A Truism's Journey

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

"No more Dr Nice guy"

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Just a little heads up!

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

'ok, who threw that?'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

'Johnson gave it to Wilson to give to Adams to give to O'Connor to give to Anderson to give to me to give to you to get it done right away.'

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

'The facts speak for themselves: My opinion however is in the accompanying letter with your redundancy package.'

'Yes, Mr Gurkinsky is the lawyer who specializes in advocating employees who are endangered of getting fired because of staying away from work for too long... unfortunately, I haven't seen Mr Gurkinsky for about three weeks...'

dog-come ingo out boxes

"It's the latest directive from senior management about how to run a 'paperless office'!"

'All those against, raise your hand. All those in favor of ice cream, scream.'