Humorous Professional Gifts

'All those against, raise your hand. All those in favor of ice cream, scream.'

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

Office Park

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

"So how long have you been working the business?"

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

Just a little heads up!

"Definitely work-related."

'ok, who threw that?'

Shareholder's Meetings

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

Corporate Lawyers

"No, we haven't started yet. My hand was cold."

"Members of the board, my indecision is final."

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

'As you both know, here at Frump, Cuttle and Howsen, failure is not an option, so that only leaves blame.'

"In this office we work hard and we play hard, Timpkins"

'Sales has challenged us to a snowball fight.'

Stan's OK Deliveries

Transplant delivery

'You dropped the ball. You're being paid to throw it.'

Attorney-at-play

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.