Ironically Connected Friends Gifts

"We talk all the time."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

'Children's Personals'

Arabian Nights.

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

"It was all that running around town buying diet books that achieved my weight loss."

'He's depressed because his make believe friend unfriended him on Facebook.'

'Yes, I was very popular as a child. I had lots of imaginary friends.'

No, it doesn't come furnished.

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

Flowers Explosion!

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

"My goodness, Albert! Open your eyes and watch out where you're going while grazing!"

'Remember our pillow-talk session, Morton, when you said 'the risk of rejection gives love it's existential edge'?'

'We've got the neighbours from hell.'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'If Larry didn't stay in touch with his imaginary childhood friends, he wouldn't have any clients at all.'

"Can I call you back, Rusty, I'm in the jacuzzi."

"Hey, where's Frank?"

Finding common ground.

'Are you sure this is the Class of 84 Havard Re-union?'

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

"My cellphone needs charging. Do you mind if I unplug your life support?"

"It didn't work -- My imaginary playmate refused to take the rap."

"Look, Wendy....our pets are playing together!"

'His imaginary playmate got sent to juvie.'

Honey, hurry up, the baby-sitter's here...

'I was just about to ask you to sit on my lap!'

'The only thing wrong with you, Tom, is that you're almost too good to be true.'

"That's Jake, Bethany, Stuart, and at the end their imaginary dad."