Friends With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Honey, hurry up, the baby-sitter's here...

Window Treatments - Glass Curtain

"Believe me, there's no 'Hot Looking Woman' living here!"

"She cheats on her husband, and he cheats on her. They see lie to lie."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"...and in conclusion..."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"He's starting to flag a bit"

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"The world revolves around my cat."

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

'You've been smarting off a lot lately -- Have you been fooling around with that 'Tree of Knowledge'?'

"Now where did I park my car?"

No, it doesn't come furnished.

'Yes,your feet are still there!'

I've got a gun.

'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'

"So, the rumors are true. He is faster than a speeding bullet."

'There are two possibilities -- either you're sixty pounds overweight, or you're a hairless grizzly bear.'

'I offered to help with your tie, but oh no, you had to do it yourself...'