Friends Who Enjoy Humor Gifts

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Skeleton playing fetch.

Raised by Dogs

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Hon, I'm home!'

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"...and in conclusion..."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"The world revolves around my cat."

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

A parrot business meeting

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

The Meeting Agenda: Start Simple

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"