Friends Who Enjoy Humor Pillows

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Skeleton playing fetch.

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Raised by Dogs

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'Hon, I'm home!'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

"...and in conclusion..."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

A parrot business meeting

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

The Meeting Agenda: Start Simple

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

"Now where did I park my car?"