Ironical Eater Gifts

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"I'm looking over you chart and I see you've gained 30 pounds. I thought you went on a diet!"

"It's my new idea! A veggie burger stuffed with tasty meat."

Today's special... donuts.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Good news, chief, a computer virus destroyed all our documents."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."

'You're looking well.'

'The bears are very well-behaved.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'