Ironic Eater Gifts

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

Food-Snob Fear Factor

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

You know what sounds good right now? Chips.

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

'Al has vowed to climb the Food Pyramid...one mouthful at a time.'

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

'I'll have double order of today's special.'

'Darling, we're vegetarians. We must stop meat eating like this.'

"Okay, I'll eat my vegetables. But, when they make me big and strong, you better watch out!"

The biochemist at lunch: "I'll have another order of fries."

"My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"I'm bulking up for the start of my next big diet."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

"Physician heal thyself."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"