Ironic Muncher Gifts

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"You complete me."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Babies who Lunch.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

"Cemetery Pie"

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

Meditation Munchies

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

Motivation

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"So … ribs for lunch?"

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

Food-Snob Fear Factor