Ironic Food Aficionado Gifts

"Are all of your carcinogens produced locally?"

Lockdown casserole

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

Cooking with Pierre

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Free Range Chickens

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Murderous Chef

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'Of course this is the freshest free range steak, sir! You can even see the tyre tracks on it!'

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'

"Every night it's Roll Play with you."

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'

Jell-O: A Life.