Ironic Namers Gifts

"Maybe we shouldn't have named him Bandit."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

Devil worried because he feels good

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

"Sit still why I explain why exercise is important."

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

Ask me about Naming Rights.

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

Success Without Effort

"What I'll miss most is his indefatigable optimism."

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'