Ironic Fitness Buffs Pillows

A bull on a treadmill

"At least he's doing a lot of reading about walking and exercise."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"Whatever."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

attorney at law

Muscle Music.

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

Aquarobics.

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

home fitness/fatness

'This yoga is too hot.'

'Harold always finds a way to do things lying down.'

Animal Aerobics

'Sex, drugs, rock and roll and running.'

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'