Fitness Fanatics With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

New Years Resolution.

"I missed my hour on the steep machine. The escalator to the gym was broken."

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

Fast food

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

Keep Fit.

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

Old Karate Master

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Keep fit.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

'Okay. . . five more! Spring forward! Fall back.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'