Fitness Enthusiasts With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

"This recliner comes with a fitness tracker."

attorney at law

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

Muscle Music.

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

Health Club: For Regular People

Fat man in car to fat friend: 'Alright mate, fancy a lift to the gym?'

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

Aquarobics.

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'

"That's no double chin — that's a snowball!"

Fast food

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."