Exercise Enthusiasts Who Love A Laugh Pillows

"I missed my hour on the steep machine. The escalator to the gym was broken."

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

"This recliner comes with a fitness tracker."

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Muscle Music.

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

Health Club: For Regular People

Lester adhered to his morning exercise regime.

'OK, I wanna see those trunks move! Left-right-left-right...'

Aquarobics.

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

"That's no double chin — that's a snowball!"

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

Fast food

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'

'I hate when I'm on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off & eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.'

New Years Resolution.

"Oddly enough, It was swimming that hurt my back."

"Snoring on my yoga mat is not aerobic exercise."

Boxer

"By 'take more exercise' I didn't mean 'walking to the takeaway'!"