Exercise Enthusiasts Who Love A Laugh Prints

"I missed my hour on the steep machine. The escalator to the gym was broken."

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

"This recliner comes with a fitness tracker."

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Muscle Music.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

Lester adhered to his morning exercise regime.

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

'OK, I wanna see those trunks move! Left-right-left-right...'

Health Club: For Regular People

Aquarobics.

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

Fast food

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

"That's no double chin — that's a snowball!"

Ok, ok, if that's what you need to meet your daily goal, we can do 21 paces instead.

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'

I asked Lance if he's into Pilates. He said yes, which I found surprising but encouraging. Then he went on to say that he liked his Pilates with butter, parsley and sour cream, and I realized that he was confusing Pilates with pierogies.

'I hate when I'm on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off & eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.'

We're thinking about taking a dance class. You two should join us. How about square dancing? Not with this physique. You can't stick a round body into a square dance. Maybe salsa dancing? No, whenever I do anything with salsa I get a big mess. Ballet is also on our list. That's absurd. I'll tiptoe around that idea. And there's belly dancing! No, thanks, I get plenty of belly dancing every time I go up or down the stairs.

New Years Resolution.

"Oddly enough, It was swimming that hurt my back."

"Snoring on my yoga mat is not aerobic exercise."

Boxer

No reaching for another beer is not a yoga pose, Bob.