Ironic Fitness Enthusiasts Pillows

I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter.

On the back of the t-shirt...

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Fast Food Dieter

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

attorney at law

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

Muscle Music.

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

Aquarobics.

home fitness/fatness

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

'I can't use it...I can't afford the gym membership!'

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

Fast food

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

'Remember, you said if you could eat all the Thanksgiving dinner you wanted, you would jog for three hours.'

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

"Let's fight obesity - left leg up..."

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"That's no double chin — that's a snowball!"

New Years Resolution.

"Oddly enough, It was swimming that hurt my back."