Ironic Fitness Fans Pillows

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Yoga for Alcoholics

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Fast Food Dieter

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Keep fit.'

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'Okay. . . five more! Spring forward! Fall back.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'