Iron-pumping Paragon Pillows

'It's a symbiotic relationship. That lineman can crush quarterbacks with his bare hands...'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Ironing day.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

Important Muscles.

Parson and abandoned husband

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'But why do we have to plough the fields and scatter when we get everything from Tesco?'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Brawnstorming session.

Olympic Jar Opening Event

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'