Ploughing Fans Pillows

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

The segway RV.

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

The American Farmer: a vanishing breed.

Septic Fields Forever.

Combined Harvester

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

A rower surrounded by swarming insects

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Urchins Cheer the Carriages Home

Bunny Trick

Sportsmen rowers overtaken by the Owl and the Pussycat

"Sure you think Farmer Brown is okay, but you don't have to put with his cold hands every morning!"

Genetically modify your own sweetcorn.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Ideas that failed: E-Milk.com, Electronic Dairy Farming.

Parking validation

"Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?"