Ploughing Fans Gifts

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

The segway RV.

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'Doug is determined to make it into the U.S. bobsled team for the 2014 Olympics.'

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

The American Farmer: a vanishing breed.

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

Septic Fields Forever.

Combined Harvester

Bunny Trick

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Urchins Cheer the Carriages Home

A rower surrounded by swarming insects

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

Sportsmen rowers overtaken by the Owl and the Pussycat

"Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?"

"Sure you think Farmer Brown is okay, but you don't have to put with his cold hands every morning!"

Ideas that failed: E-Milk.com, Electronic Dairy Farming.

Genetically modify your own sweetcorn.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

'For heaven's sake! They're dressed as the 101st Airborne Division!'