Iron Maiden (appreciator) Pillows

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Warrior Woman

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

Reese Witherspoon

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Ironing day.

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'I'm Bored'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

Moses' TV guide.

Freddie's water